doomy doom

This past weekend to Chicago and Indianapolis went really well.  Here’s the Chicago part!

Friday I got into O’hare a little early, so I wandered around until I found the rental car shuttle.  That took me about ten minutes away to the rental car location.  Kinda odd, but okay.  Here’s the part where I wished I either had a GPS unit or someone that lived there telling me where to go.  It didn’t really occur to me that I was going to be in some strange state far, far away from everything familiar.  The VW Rabbit and I were in for some adventures.  We hopped off in search of the freeway, and hopefully in the direction of Chicago.

Now, the night before I realized that I had neither printed directions to my sister’s house, to my friend’s house, or really anywhere.  It occurred to me that I might want to.  So I wrote down rough directions to all of these places, and also to the Shedd Aquarium because I was told it was amazing and that I had to go there and possibly the Natural History Museum.  Armed with a paper full of chicken scratch, I set off in search of the Shedd.

I didn’t get far.  Not because I got lost though.  No, it was because there was stop and go traffic all the way from where I got on 1.5mi from the rental car place to exit 55 – the exit I gave up and took instead.  Kate and I were going to meet at a certain parking lot before the Sox game, and after going about 15mi over nearly 2 hours, I figured I might as well say goodbye to the Shedd and Natural History Museum.  There was no way I’d make it in and out of the city in the time I had left.  Instead, I parked in the agreed upon lot, then wandered across the street to the hot dog stand to eat the most delicious french fries and sip on some Sprite.  I hadn’t eaten much all day and was pretty dehydrated.  After that, I snuggled up with the Rabbit and took a nap.  I had an hour to kill, so why not, right?  It was marvelous.  Shortly after I woke Kate called and we played the find-me-in-a-huge-parking-lot game.  Her boyfriend figured it out for us, otherwise I’m sure I would have been wandering around the lot with the phone pressed to my ear saying, “Yeah, I see the red car. Wait, what kind of car?  Okay yeah, which little red car?  There are a million parked next to silver cars.  Okay, wait, which building?  With what on top? No seriously, I can’t understand you. Yeah I see a building. With what on top??” or something similar.

The game wasn’t that great.  Kate and the rest of the fans booed the first pitcher off the field.  I felt kinda bad for him, but he wasn’t pitching well at all, so I guess that’s what he gets.  The rest of the pitchers didn’t do much better in the long run.  The Rangers shut them out, 6-0.  Ouch.  I took a break from vegetarianism long enough to have a beer with my polish sausage hotdog covered with grilled onions and mustard.  Mmm.  I hadn’t had a polish dog in years. Good times.

I did avoid running straight up to Kate’s belly though.  It’s hard to miss, but I didn’t want to intrude on her by busting through her personal space and accosting her stomach.  I imagine pregnant girls tire of random people touching their bellies without asking.  Kate had mentioned that a couple times, so I tried to avoid doing that.  While we were at the game she started prodding at her tummy, so I asked what was going on in there.  The baby was shifting around and kicking out the front of her stomach.  She moved her hand so I could see and it was really trippy!  It was like in Aliens (Spaceballs) when that thing pops out of that guy’s stomach.  Except, y’know, the baby didn’t bust through Kate’s stomach.  But I could see feet or whatever making her skin rise and fall and that looked so amazing.  I put my hand over it and could feel the same thing.  Then I started poking at it.  She laughed because her boyfriend makes fun of her for doing the same thing.  I was hoping that when I poked, it would kick back or something.  I think Kate would have gotten annoyed with me if I’d kept that up, so after not getting a response after the first couple pokes, I gave up.  Babies inside of stomachs = weird but cool!

Right about now you can tell I don’t hang out with pregnant girls very often, nor have I had many pregnant friends/acquaintances.  It’s still fascinating.

The next day we met up with our mother and her friend, had lunch, then went to Kate’s baby shower.  It was a really nice party.  Her friend Mel had made all sorts of food goodies, put together games for it, and even had prizes!  What an awesome friend.  Kate got quite a few presents that will hopefully get her started with whatever she needs for the baby.  Seeing as how I haven’t been to  baby shower.. well.. ever.. I wasn’t entirely sure what to get her.  She wasn’t registered since she didn’t know what she was having til about 2 weeks prior, so I couldn’t be sure that I wouldn’t get her something that someone else already had gotten her.  Double gifts.  It’s the shame of all parties.  So, I drew and painted her a picture.

Because, as I mentioned, she didn’t know what sex the baby was going to be she would call it a Seamonkey.  I thought this was really cute.  Really cute.  So cute, in fact, that I did an illustration of a seamonkey.  Now, if you know anything about seamonkeys, you’ll know they look more like a paramecium than anything cute and cuddly.  And, if you happen to look them up online, the things that people call a “seamonkey” look more like a really tall Lorax or some other kind of critter out of Dr. Seuss, but creepy.  Deciding that I didn’t want to draw her something creepy, I opted for cute.

Kate and I had a good time hanging out after not seeing each other for a few years, so I say the trip to the Chicago area was a success.  It was good to see her and meet her new boyfriend.  And when things have settled after the baby is born, I’ll ask Kate when the best time is to come back and see my new niece.

Kate actually lives in a really beautiful area outside of Chicago.  Imagine green, grassy fields interspersed with forests and rivers.  Yeah, it’s gorgeous.  Now put cute little mid-western towns in there with awesome brick architecture and adorable little farm houses.  Yep.  I dug it.  Kate’s a lucky girl.

Side note: Why do they call the middle of our country the ‘Mid-West’? If it’s the middle, why don’t they just call it Mid-US? It’s actually closer to the East, I think, so I would consider it more the Mid-East.  *shrug* Just a thought.

“What ever happened to that longboard you were talking about,” you ask?  Well, you didn’t ask. Dear readers, you are actually quite silent. That’s fine though.

The longboard is in the near completion stage of being painted. “Painted?” Yes, painted. Remember I was talking about putting a design on the underside of it?  Well, I drew up the design and painted it on.  Dick Blick supplied me with some fancy oil paint pens, and voila, awesomeness.

This is the original design.

Here it is painted.  With tape.  Classy, classy tape.

I decided against the white outlining because it felt like it restricted the design when it was actually on the board.  Also, I noticed bleeding between colors when they overlapped or touched, so unless I had been totally neurotic about keeping the colors equidistant from each other, they would have bled into the white and looked like crap.  I really enjoy how the tree flows into the rest of the board as well though.  I didn’t want to break that line.   If you’re wondering what that brown mark on the tree green is, have no fear. I didn’t miss a spot, it’s just a heart.  Why?  ‘Cause I’m a girl, and I love trees, and sunshine, and blue skies, and my awesome longboard.

I was laughing with a friend and telling him that I like the invisible line of the circle, like it’s the force that holds the universe together.  (I think that’s gravity, but whatever.)

The brown just needs a couple touch-ups on the edges, but otherwise, I’m leaving the rest of it Alone.  I need to stop touching it.  I notice something and think ‘Oh no, that line isn’t perfect!  Goodness! *paints paints* Oh no, now that one looks off! *paint paint*’  It’s a vicious cycle.  I’ll just pop some OCD pills* and call it good.  After I finish the brown.

After that, I just need to varnish it, then get those trucks and wheels sent this-a-way and I’ll be ready to roll.  Literally.  Ah haha.. I crack myself up.  If you’re so inclined, you can check out the Flickr gallery I made for this project.

I’m sore.  I worked out yesterday, then tried to conquer a large ball of clay on the wheel, and I must say… I hurt.  I think it’s mostly due to the gym workout, but still.  Soreness.. owww.  I’m eating bananas and drinking water like they’re going out of style.  Oh, and I finished (sorta) the journal I was talking about.  I had it all glued together, then realized that it sucked, so I cut it all apart and redid it properly.  Or at least more properly than I had the first time.  Now I just need to find some gaffer’s tape to line the edges.  I decided against the fabric idea.  While it was a nifty idea, it was time consuming, and I don’t have that much time.  I could always do it later, and I may still.

*OCD pills was a joke.  I let my neuroses run wild.

Maybe it’s the assignments that I’ve been having to do in my English class.  Maybe it’s the insight from a new friend.  Whichever, I’ve found myself perhaps a bit more introspective lately.  Questioning the origins of things, perspectives, and conclusions.

I like to be able to look back on my life and feel no regret toward situations.  Granted, there were a couple situations with a few lovers that I could have handled better than I did, but on the whole, I think I’d do it all over again.  I feel that even if things ended badly with someone, the good time spent was worth having the experience.  Of course if things could always work out between people, then that would be ideal, but there are two people, two vantage points, two perspectives, two people afraid of being vulnerable, two sets of vocal chords, two people hurting themselves.  I’d like to think I’m getting better with this thing called communication.  I’m getting better with knowing what I want, what I don’t want, and what I’m willing or not willing to put up with in my life.  I’m feeling less like I have to compromise myself for other people.

I overheard a conversation last night between a couple people in the art lab.  They were talking about how as an artist, you have to build a system of support around you and your art.  There’s no point in fraternizing with people that are against who you are and what you’re trying to do.  You end up feeling like you constantly have to prove yourself to them, and that’s not who you have to prove yourself to at all.  You find your niche, surround yourself with people who will support you as a person and as an artist, then do your thing.  Who wants a bunch of negativity and naysayers around?  Certainly not any sane person.  I mean, yes, there are times when it’s good to have the devil’s advocate saying, ‘Okay, so you want to weld a cage around yourself and see how long you can last in there..?’  A voice of reason is necessary.  Those people that you’ve surrounded yourself with should be able to do that though.  They have the outside perspective.  They should be able to step back from everything and say, ‘Whoa, I think that might be too much.  Here’s why I think that.’  And they can be wrong, but don’t assume they are just because they’re questioning what you’re doing.  Feedback is essential.  Constructive criticism is essential.  While you don’t want a bunch of naysayers, you also don’t want a bunch of Yes Men sitting around telling you your poop doesn’t stink and that it’s fabulous.  Balance.  You want to find balance.

My professor let us know that we need to have a journal to turn in at the end of the semester.  It should show the process, our process, the inner workings of our Mind.  I think that’s scary, but whatever.  Not really.  I started writing notes in a spiral bound, but realized that my drawings would all have lines through them.  So then I moved to one of my sketchbooks that I hadn’t used in a while and that wasn’t full.  Then realized that I’d have to turn this thing in, and I don’t know that he’d understand why I have a bunch of Korean comic strips and news clippings pasted into one side of it, so I thought of a third option.  I had to drop off some stuff at my storage unit the other day and while in there noticed the big pile of computer paper that I’m not using, and haven’t used for as long as I can remember.  I grabbed a half-used stack and threw that into my truck.  Continuing the load things into the unit, I noticed that under that paper I’d just grabbed was a box of ‘business paper.’  Fancy shmancy!  I grabbed that box, threw it into my truck, then put the other paper back in the unit.  ‘Loose leaf paper?’ you ask.  No, dear readers.  I’m going to make a journal.  Book bindery has interested me for some time now.  I haven’t ever gotten into the Japanese styles or bindings with string/thread/etc., but I did play with the gluing style for a while a couple years ago.  Sooo.. I figure with all the boxes I have in my room that are pressed between things and up against the walls, I could cut one up, use it for a cover, then glue the pages in.  It’s right about now you wonder how I have so much free time to think all these things up.  I just do.  I’ve been quite the recluse lately, which leads to projects in various stages of un/finished-ment.  This one I’ve been working on little-by-little each night this week, so it’s got a good progression going so far.  At this point I just need to glue the pages in to the cover.  I think I’m going to cut up a spare pair of pants that was donated to me, but which are way too big, and use that material as the journal cover, then sew it through the cardboard.  I think it’d be interesting.  I’ll letcha know how it goes when/if it happens.

Totally random other topic.  I don’t think that people are all that different from one another.  Studying other people gives you insight to yourself.  I heard once that people tend to dislike certain people because they see qualities in that person that they know are within themselves.  I thought about that a long time ago.  There was a girl that I wasn’t fond of, so I tried to pinpoint why it was I didn’t like her.  Besides being painfully insecure, she was opinionated, kinda coarse, and a bit rude when it came to dealing with people.  I laughed later about all this because I think that in a parallel dimension, given different circumstances upon our meeting, she and I might have been good friends.  We’re similar.  She’s just a bit more outspoken about her opinions than I am.  Maybe a little more bitter.  Now she’s even dating an ex of mine. Who didn’t see that coming?  These days I question why I have issues with certain ladies in my life, the ones I see on an everyday level.  One thing I came up with is that they’re moody.  I see moodiness, when put upon other people, to be a weakness.  Now, I am not above this weakness.  Some of the close friends in my lifetime have been subjected to my psychotic mood swings.  I don’t really display these things in a professional situation though, usually.  The workplace is no place for your moody issues, and nobody should have to deal with it.  When I get home, my cat deals with my moods, friends that I occasionally talk to hear my moods a little, but for the most part, I try to keep them to myself.  It’s rare when I let everything like that show to someone.  Though, they sometimes feel insulted for having to be the brunt of my moods unfortunately.  We hurt the ones we love the most, right?

I’ve been listening to talk radio lately.  I never thought I’d be one of those people.  For the longest time I hated talk radio, mostly because I had to listen to it every night when I slept over at one of my boyfriend’s houses.  He would be up late working on the computer or something that involved ignoring me, and I’d have to fall asleep listening to stupid conspiracy theories.  I hated it.  I realized lately that avoiding knowing what was going on in the world didn’t make me someone that was.. hmm.. above it? but really just made me ignorant.  I stopped listening to the news back when I was in high school.  Hearing all the horrible things that go on really hurt.  It’s hard not to feel upset about people dying in wars, politicians lying about whatever, people in general just not doing right by their fellow man.  For a long time I turned away, apathetic, not wanting to listen.  I feel though that there is something to learn in all of it.  I’m still trying to figure out what it is.

“I caught my stride. I flew and flied.  I know if destiny’s kind, I’ve got the rest of my mind.  But my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to.  And my eyes, they don’t see you no more.  And my lips, they don’t kiss, They don’t kiss the way they used to, And my eyes don’t recognize you no more.
For reasons unknown.”  [the killers]

Well, January came again, just as it promises every year. It has been both busy and lazy. I trekked out to the desert to pick up a friend and drive him to LAX. We both reminisced about why we were glad we didn’t live there anymore. We both still kind of have friends there, but at the same time, are still very happy with the places we live now. The only reason I’d go back is to get a job making silly amounts of money and live in seclusion. Neither of which I really want to do there. Moving right along..

Christmas was fairly uneventful, as I wanted. I was working 12 hour days up until it, so things were busy. I got a couple cool birthday/xmas presents: stripey shirts, mortar & pestle, argyle socks, an art nouveau vector art book, and some other stuff. I think I had more fun coming up with presents for people this year. I’m not usually one to buy presents for people because I figure if I find something they like at any time of the year, I’ll probably get it for them. I don’t need a certain day to get them a nifty present. Christmas is usually just the time when other people tell you what they want, and out of the goodness of your heart (and pocketbook) you can get it for them and see the glee! Instead of buying a bunch of crap nobody wants, I made things. I crocheted a very soft, black beanie with ear flaps and tassles. Oh yes, it is awesome, and quite warm, from what I hear. And I’m not gonna get all into the stuff I made, but it was cool. Lemme tell ya.

The new year has proven to be somewhat of a disappointment on the work front, however. What’s new, right? I’ve been knocked down to 20-hour weeks at minimum wage. Can you live on that? Yeah, me either. So again I hike my skirts and trod out into the world looking for a new job. Feelers abound, something is going to turn up. Resumes have been strategically placed and will be noticed. Oh yes. Never doubt the power of the oddly-shaped resume. (No, they’re not oddly-shaped. It just sounded funny. But it might be a good idea…

Okay, I’m sure I have some work to do around here. Oh! This just in. Again, not really, I just happened to remember it right now. I’m creating a graphic (that I would show you if my thumb drive were acting correctly) for the front of my leather portfolio. In case you’re unaware what kind of leather portfolio I’m talking about… here ya go. I’ve been working on the image for a while now, mostly in my mind, but have also been trying to render it in my computer. Teaching oneself Illustrator is not easy. I’ve redone the drawing quite a few times now, but I think I have it to the point that I like it. Just need to find a good brush to stroke it with and I’ll be all set. (technobabble. I know. I’m sorry.) Long story short, it’s coming along well. I’m fairly happy with it, there are just a few things I’m kinda still tilting my head about. You know what I mean.. when you look at something, and you think, ‘hmm.. something’s just not right..’ and you tilt your head when you think that.. yeah. That’s what I’ve been doing. So, a couple more days on it and it should be completed.

Oh yes, and what is coming up next month? Lent. Yep. I have purchased a giant mixing bowl of doom with which I will mix up the ingredients and begin making my fasting bread. The theme of the year? Focus.

Oh yeah, and I start a new semester on Tuesday… AutoCAD, ftw.

1. added more header images. my friend commented that i had my cat in the headers, but not any of me.. so i added a couple of me.

2. trying to ignore the conflict of having header images messing with the font/roll overs in the header. might try to code it to be different, but until i am that snazzy, no dice. so, depending on what image is up there, you may or may not see either the title or the rollover buttons. this is me shrugging. *shrug*

3. i think i’m going to stick with this layout/style until i find something better. i went through nearly 50 themes yesterday to see what i liked, but i didn’t find any that made me nearly as happy as this one. there was another one that i might use in the winter season, as it is wintery looking, but until then, i like the randomized header and the functionality of this theme.

4. as you can see, there are journal entries already here. i imported my Blogger journal into here since it is the nicest [in terms of language and content] journal i have online.

5. i have it set so that the page only shows five entries at a time so as not to make you have to scroll for days. if you want to see more entries you can either go to a specific day on the calendar to the right. the days that have entries are highlighted. otherwise, you can go to the archives tab and sift through those.

6. i went through all the entries and tagged them so they all fit into categories. so if you’re looking for a post about something in particular, try looking through the categories, and if you want to get more specific, i have the live search turned on and it will pull up entries with the keywords of your choice. if you have any problems with the functionality of something, let me know and i’ll see if i can fiddle with it to make it work.

i leave you with a picture from the fire escape on the Monarch hotel in SF. enjoy!