doomy doom

Oh my goodness.  I have neglected you so terribly, dear readers.

I started writing a post about Burning Man last year, but got fed up trying to upload all the pictures into WordPress that I lost interest in that post.  I obviously haven’t tried to post anything since then. And yet so much has gone on!

Waiting in line at Burning Man after a rainstorm.

I was going to try to think of all the neat things and give you a full run down, but that’s not going to happen.  I’ll give you the quick and dirty.

The ranch was a beautiful place to live.  At some point in March or April I decided to raise five Rhode Island Red chickens.  I <3′d them.  After all was said and done (months later), I had three left.  There was a hungry mountain lion that saw my poor babies as lunch.  One Saturday afternoon I was walking up to give them some cuttings from my herb/veggie garden and what did I see?  A friggen’ mountain lion trying to decide who next to pick off!  Nooooh!  I picked up a rock and threw it at the big cat.  It took one look at me and took off.  I took off in the other direction to grab my gun and go after it.  I was upset.  I didn’t, however, find the lion.  I hiked up into the hills, found a pile of feathers that once was one of my girls, but lost the trail near the edge of the property.  I shook my fist.  I sat up on the side of that mountain and cried. The three left weren’t ever quite the same.  They kept better watch over each other though.

The Three Musketeers!

At some point while I lived there three people moved into the trailer that was on the property.  Having other humans living out there defeated the purpose of living in the middle of nowhere, so I moved back into the city shortly thereafter.  My peace had been disturbed.

Then Burning Man happened.  It’s currently happening again, but I’m not there, obviously.  It was nifty.  I mean, it sucks.  Don’t go.

A dandelion by day. A flaming dandelion by night.

The rest of the year was fairly uneventful as far as this blog goes.

This year has been mildly uneventful.  I take that back.  I’ve been traveling a lot again, so it’s been a whirlwind.

In April I went to visit my friend, Fro, in Florida.  We were talking online about how I hadn’t yet come to visit him out there when he’d come to visit out here a few times.  I told him to set a date and I’d fly over.  I needed a break.  We figured it out and I flew over and hung out for a couple days.  In that time we went to a birthday party for one of his coworkers.  His boss was also at this party.  I ended up sitting next to his boss talking about their job, life, etc.  They work at the nuclear power plant there.  The college has a program where you take classes directly related to working at the plant, then after you finish the program you apply for a job at the plant.  It sounded simple enough.  After talking to me for about an hour or so his boss told me I should consider the program.  I guess they have some older folk who should be retiring soonish and will need fresh meat to fill the spots.   I spoke with Fro about it briefly to get a bit more information about it.  On the flights home, I considered it more.  On the drive home I mulled it over.  I think I called him the next day and spoke with him at length about it.  All of this thinking and mulling is leading up to the fact that I’m moving to Florida to do this school program so I can get this job.  Whee!

You know I had to.

Nowadays I’ve been running around like a crazy person trying to get all my stuff shipped and the rest of it crammed into my truck so I can drive it over there.  My truck and I will have quite a journey ahead of us.  The move date is about as solid as cottage cheese, so I’m not even going to give one to anyone anymore.  Plans have been changing as things come up, so I’ve been adjusting.  My Grams reminded me that it’s okay for plans to change.  It’ll all get done.  Take a breather and go with the flow.  Yes, ma’am.  <3

After Burning Man is over and my roommate comes home I’m going to drive up to visit her before I leave, then be on my way.  This new chapter is going to start, sooner or later.

Take a breath and enjoy the life you're creating.

While December was fraught with disappointment and unease, January and now February have held anything but those feelings.  Instead I now feel more hope and peace than I have in quite a while.  I had dinner with a friend recently who remarked that I seem brighter and more relaxed than I have in a long time.  Honey, I feel it.

The move into a new place went well, though I dragged my feet a bit in getting everything moved over.  It’s hard to motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning when you have nothing substantial for which to get out of bed.  Regardless, I am now settled and living a quiet, solitary life out on a ranch in the country.  I’m ever so fond of it.  There’s a ranch cat who will occasionally grace me with its presence.  A Great Pyrenees lives out there as well, and she, Regret, will on occasion stop in to check on me.  The mule and horse that live there pretend that I don’t exist, but I think in the end we’ll become friends.  I might just have to make it my mission.  The other four horses that are staying there now know me fairly well and we’re all on good terms.  I end up feeding them more often than not, so what’s not to love about me?  So let’s see… quiet place to live? Check.  Acreage to roam and hike around?  Check.  Animals to befriend and converse with?  Check.  As few people as possible?  Check.  Gosh, it might just be ideal.  The biggest downside?  No internet.  Yes, dear Reader, I have no internet out there, hence my lack of timely updates.  It was called to my attention recently that I left you hanging with the depression that dripped from the last posting.  My apologies.

The job situation has been handled.  I am now working for a friend, or for someone who has now become my friend, and am enjoying it rather well.  I can only hope that I can maintain such positivity for long periods of time.  I do enjoy how resourceful I can be when I put my mind to it and am quite glad I was blessed with such will power.  I am also glad to have wonderful friends with whom I can share my life and my skills with in order to benefit them as well.  I never exactly expected all my random skills to come in handy, but I tend to surprise myself with how forward thinking some part of my brain is, however hidden from the forefront it may be.

I spoke with Linda a week or so ago to keep in contact.  She decided to quit after all.  They had continually disrespected her and she felt no need to keep herself in such a situation.  It was affecting her health, her mental state, and her life; it wasn’t worth it.  Too often people will sacrifice themselves for money and wonder why their life isn’t as satisfying as they think it should be.  She wasn’t one of those people, but it is a common thread I see among most people.  I am only glad that her integrity was able to withstand the poison and allowed her to free herself and move on, hopefully, to better things.

Say what you want and keep moving forward.

I always end up seeing some news or magazine article with the same title.  It’s silly, but I’m using it.

This year was the year for traveling.  I got to see Grand Cayman Island.  Quite a lot of fun there.  I flew out to Chicago to visit with my sister and then drove over to Indianapolis to see my friend graduate from Purdue.  Both wonderful trips.

This year has left me with a nice sense of peace about myself.  Sometimes it takes our whole lives to feel comfortable within our own skin.  My skin is finally starting to feel comfortable around me.  I’m a fan.

This year has also been a bit painful.  My cat, my furry daughter, died a couple weeks ago, which is quite devastating.  It’s not something I can really explain to anyone.  No one would take it seriously if I said it was like losing a child, but that’s exactly how it feels to me.  After 15 years together, she was my child, my partner, my gypsy companion.  She grew up with me through the tail end of my childhood, into my teen years, and then my adulthood.  I felt more closely bonded with her than I have felt about anything or anyone else in my life.   She will be sorely missed.

This year has been difficult at my job as well.  There were moments where I couldn’t see the reason to stay working at that place anymore, then I would have days and moments with the boys where I couldn’t imagine a cooler place.  I made a lot of friends there, had a good time working with the menfolk, and toward the end, met and worked with Linda, a wonderful woman that I can’t possibly say enough good things about.  Earlier this week I was ‘let go’, so I suppose now I don’t have to worry about experiencing the bad days with the evil woman at the top of the hill.  While not having a job is a bit unsettling at the moment, it’s also a refreshing feeling.  The past couple months have been tense and unnecessarily hard at work and I can’t say I’m not a bit relieved to have been let go.  I am resourceful and intelligent; I see this as a starting block, not a stumbling point.  I have been called by a couple people at the company to be reassured of how much they appreciated me, and told that I will be greatly missed, but not forgotten.

I am also in the middle, or at the tail end, of moving, so between the work stress, holiday stress, and moving stress, I’ve been rather quiet and reserved, trying to keep my sanity and my head above water.  Now with the addition of not having a job, I might lose my mind while I try to figure out the money situation, but I have luckily been squirreling away as much as I can the past couple months, so I should be able to keep paddling for a while.  My feelers are already out for a new job or opportunity, and I have a couple ideas already brewing in my head.  The next couple weeks should give me a good indication of what options might actually be realistic.  When I find out, so will you, dear Reader.

The next adventure is around the bend and I will greet it with open arms and an eager mind.  Keep moving forward.

Child of my heart, I miss you.

This past weekend to Chicago and Indianapolis went really well.  Here’s the Chicago part!

Friday I got into O’hare a little early, so I wandered around until I found the rental car shuttle.  That took me about ten minutes away to the rental car location.  Kinda odd, but okay.  Here’s the part where I wished I either had a GPS unit or someone that lived there telling me where to go.  It didn’t really occur to me that I was going to be in some strange state far, far away from everything familiar.  The VW Rabbit and I were in for some adventures.  We hopped off in search of the freeway, and hopefully in the direction of Chicago.

Now, the night before I realized that I had neither printed directions to my sister’s house, to my friend’s house, or really anywhere.  It occurred to me that I might want to.  So I wrote down rough directions to all of these places, and also to the Shedd Aquarium because I was told it was amazing and that I had to go there and possibly the Natural History Museum.  Armed with a paper full of chicken scratch, I set off in search of the Shedd.

I didn’t get far.  Not because I got lost though.  No, it was because there was stop and go traffic all the way from where I got on 1.5mi from the rental car place to exit 55 – the exit I gave up and took instead.  Kate and I were going to meet at a certain parking lot before the Sox game, and after going about 15mi over nearly 2 hours, I figured I might as well say goodbye to the Shedd and Natural History Museum.  There was no way I’d make it in and out of the city in the time I had left.  Instead, I parked in the agreed upon lot, then wandered across the street to the hot dog stand to eat the most delicious french fries and sip on some Sprite.  I hadn’t eaten much all day and was pretty dehydrated.  After that, I snuggled up with the Rabbit and took a nap.  I had an hour to kill, so why not, right?  It was marvelous.  Shortly after I woke Kate called and we played the find-me-in-a-huge-parking-lot game.  Her boyfriend figured it out for us, otherwise I’m sure I would have been wandering around the lot with the phone pressed to my ear saying, “Yeah, I see the red car. Wait, what kind of car?  Okay yeah, which little red car?  There are a million parked next to silver cars.  Okay, wait, which building?  With what on top? No seriously, I can’t understand you. Yeah I see a building. With what on top??” or something similar.

The game wasn’t that great.  Kate and the rest of the fans booed the first pitcher off the field.  I felt kinda bad for him, but he wasn’t pitching well at all, so I guess that’s what he gets.  The rest of the pitchers didn’t do much better in the long run.  The Rangers shut them out, 6-0.  Ouch.  I took a break from vegetarianism long enough to have a beer with my polish sausage hotdog covered with grilled onions and mustard.  Mmm.  I hadn’t had a polish dog in years. Good times.

I did avoid running straight up to Kate’s belly though.  It’s hard to miss, but I didn’t want to intrude on her by busting through her personal space and accosting her stomach.  I imagine pregnant girls tire of random people touching their bellies without asking.  Kate had mentioned that a couple times, so I tried to avoid doing that.  While we were at the game she started prodding at her tummy, so I asked what was going on in there.  The baby was shifting around and kicking out the front of her stomach.  She moved her hand so I could see and it was really trippy!  It was like in Aliens (Spaceballs) when that thing pops out of that guy’s stomach.  Except, y’know, the baby didn’t bust through Kate’s stomach.  But I could see feet or whatever making her skin rise and fall and that looked so amazing.  I put my hand over it and could feel the same thing.  Then I started poking at it.  She laughed because her boyfriend makes fun of her for doing the same thing.  I was hoping that when I poked, it would kick back or something.  I think Kate would have gotten annoyed with me if I’d kept that up, so after not getting a response after the first couple pokes, I gave up.  Babies inside of stomachs = weird but cool!

Right about now you can tell I don’t hang out with pregnant girls very often, nor have I had many pregnant friends/acquaintances.  It’s still fascinating.

The next day we met up with our mother and her friend, had lunch, then went to Kate’s baby shower.  It was a really nice party.  Her friend Mel had made all sorts of food goodies, put together games for it, and even had prizes!  What an awesome friend.  Kate got quite a few presents that will hopefully get her started with whatever she needs for the baby.  Seeing as how I haven’t been to  baby shower.. well.. ever.. I wasn’t entirely sure what to get her.  She wasn’t registered since she didn’t know what she was having til about 2 weeks prior, so I couldn’t be sure that I wouldn’t get her something that someone else already had gotten her.  Double gifts.  It’s the shame of all parties.  So, I drew and painted her a picture.

Because, as I mentioned, she didn’t know what sex the baby was going to be she would call it a Seamonkey.  I thought this was really cute.  Really cute.  So cute, in fact, that I did an illustration of a seamonkey.  Now, if you know anything about seamonkeys, you’ll know they look more like a paramecium than anything cute and cuddly.  And, if you happen to look them up online, the things that people call a “seamonkey” look more like a really tall Lorax or some other kind of critter out of Dr. Seuss, but creepy.  Deciding that I didn’t want to draw her something creepy, I opted for cute.

Kate and I had a good time hanging out after not seeing each other for a few years, so I say the trip to the Chicago area was a success.  It was good to see her and meet her new boyfriend.  And when things have settled after the baby is born, I’ll ask Kate when the best time is to come back and see my new niece.

Kate actually lives in a really beautiful area outside of Chicago.  Imagine green, grassy fields interspersed with forests and rivers.  Yeah, it’s gorgeous.  Now put cute little mid-western towns in there with awesome brick architecture and adorable little farm houses.  Yep.  I dug it.  Kate’s a lucky girl.

Side note: Why do they call the middle of our country the ‘Mid-West’? If it’s the middle, why don’t they just call it Mid-US? It’s actually closer to the East, I think, so I would consider it more the Mid-East.  *shrug* Just a thought.

Friday was a rather odd day for me.  It was perfectly normal until about a half hour til I went home from work.  I walked into my supervisor’s office to talk about an invoice, and noticed a bird on her desk.  “You have a cockatiel?”  “Is that what this is?”  “Yep.  Where’d it come from?”

Apparently it came from the heavens, alighted on one of the fellas in the field, and he brought it into her office.  She wasn’t too keen on keeping it.  The nervous look on her face whenever it flew to her shoulder kind of gave it away.   I sat there considering the bird, not being a huge fan of birds as pets, but waited to hear what was going to happen with it.  A couple of the guys that are familiar with pet birds were called, but one in particular was mentioned that brought a bit of a grimace from my supervisor and her sister.  After sitting there for fifteen minutes, this pretty little thing had grown on me.  Why?  I don’t know.  I’m a sucker for animals.  I’m even more of a sucker for lost/abandoned animals.  This was obviously someone’s pet.  He’s in great shape, looks healthy, has great feathers and coloring, and is incredibly tame.  I spoke up, “Well, if you don’t want [him] to have it, I’d take the bird, I guess..”  They got excited.  I immediately went through the list of things that I had to do that day, which now included stopping quickly by the pet store and buying a cage and setup for my new, feathery friend.

We drove down the hill from work, him sitting on my shoulder, and stopped at the pet store.  I walked right into the whole “Oh this cage is better, here’s why. And it needs toys.  And this.  And that.”  Granted, after looking at numerous sites on the internet about this little guy, it seems the young lady at the store was not wrong, but she certainly profited from his arrival.  Let me just say, this bird is spoiled, or if it isn’t already, it probably will be.  Jungle Gym?  Why yes, thank you, I think I will buy one of those.  That’s next on the list anyway.  The cage I bought is rather snazzy, as it should be for what it cost me, and I’m happy with it.  If/when I get a new place, I will probably invest in a bigger cage, although if the current trend persists, I think all this bird needs is a stable shoulder to sit on.

Now that we are home and getting accustomed to each other, I’ve realized a couple things.  Not all birds suck.  This one happens to be incredibly friendly, and has adopted me I think, instead of the other way around.  I can’t leave the room without him flying to catch up with me.  “Don’t leave me, mommeh!”  Oh my.  Once he’s on my shoulder, it takes an act of god to get him down.

After extensive reading, however, I’ve learned a couple funny thing about them.  The best one was that they like head scratches.  What?  Really?  Yeah, head scratches.  This bird and I have something in common.  We like head scratches.  “If your cockatiel bows his head before your fingers, it might mean that he wants his head to be scratched.”  Really?  It’s true.  I have quickly endeared myself to my new friend by giving him head scratches.   What a weird way for a bird to show trust.  “I demand head scratches!”  “Um, kay.. *scratch scratch* ok done.”  “Silly huuuman, you will never be done.  Continue with the head scratching!”

Another funny thing is that cockatiels are insanely curious.  Mostly about your food.  You pick up something, it wants to know what that thing is, whether it’s tasty, and if it’s light enough to steal and retreat to your shoulder with it.  He has claimed my pita.  I picked up a coupon as I was cleaning my room and he immediately climbed down my arm to my hand, grabbed the paper, then shimmied back up to my shoulder to check this thing out.  So bizarre.

Crackers, my cat, has decided that this new bird is a fiend and a thief.  How dare such a small little creature steal her momma’s attention.  And food!  Oh, the horror.  She eyes him intently, waiting for my attention to lapse so she can enjoy a tasty cockatiel meal.

To save this poor bird from kitteh harassment during the day, he’ll be traveling to and from work with me.  My supervisor said it would be funny and okay for him to hang out in my office all day.  This is a good thing because otherwise, after all my research, it seems I’d end up with an ill-behaved bird at the end of all this.  They’re very social, so they either need a lot of human attention (since I am now this bird’s “flock”), or they need another birdy companion.  One bird is plenty.  He can come to work with me.

And, to be amusing, and since nobody else seemed to like the name Harvey for the bird, his name is Cheese.  Cheese and Crackers.  Oh, what a horrible pun.

Cheese the Cockatiel